dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize