hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's official drugs can't kill me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
