you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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