dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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