ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
