Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
