Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
