belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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