Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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