Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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