why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
