so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You are the jesus of drinking
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
