talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
