Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
