Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
