508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
