hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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