she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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