So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
