Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Randomize
