I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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