If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you had me at cake vodka
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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