My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
COCAINE IS GR8
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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