Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
