YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Randomize
