I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
