A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
