...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
