Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
