I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
