I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize