He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
