How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
