names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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