I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
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I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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