non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
