dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
