I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
