I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want nice things and good sex
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
