i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
