So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
