Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
