She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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