dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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