I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
