Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is my gift to your gina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
