entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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