He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
