Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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