So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
