Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.