i already hear my dad disowning me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
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he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS