Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now