Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
