So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP