Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
