And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.