i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
