This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
