It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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