I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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