Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
not ubering you a puppy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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