Having a random hookup so left but love u
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
