I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
