That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
