I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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