Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
