She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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