My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
