was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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