WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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