Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
