I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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