My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
