I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
